abusers will tend to:
- tell lies and half-truths to avoid explaining their actions
- accuse and blame to divert attention away from themselves
- refuse to accept the perspective of others while irrationally defending their own positions
- withhold information in areas affecting the lives of those they are abusing because it gives them control to manipulate future events
- avoid acknowledging the feelings of others yet will often bring up how their emotions are being affected
- slight or take digs in a non-aggressive or joking manner which allows the abuser to say they were just kidding while still being abusive
- change the subject to divert attention from themselves
- make others feel worthless in an attempt to lower their self-esteem and bring them down to their level or the abuser
- threaten or hint of physical, emotional, mental, or sexual abuse
- deny anything is wrong
- show inappropriate or emotional outbursts
- try and control others to domineer and limit freedom or expression
- forget commitments and promises
- deny success by placing unreasonable demands, unjustly singling out or constantly placing someone in the category of a loser
- take advantage of vulnerabilities using shame, guilt, or fear
- the actions and promises are out of alignment. they say one thing and do another
- only be nice when all other options have been removed
- cut someone off so they are not allowed to speak to suppress self-expression
- look to eliminate choices for others while gathering control for themselves
- ask inappropriate questions to evoke emotional responses
- humiliate others in public to show their superiority
- keep pushing buttons and activating places of sensitivity
- pretend to understand concerns and then disregarding them
- slander to the name, reputation, associations, or activities or those they can’t control
